Crazy people writing open letters and posting them all over the place seems to be the thing to do and I seem to be crazy so here we go. Here’s my take on an open letter..

There once was a girl that fell in love with a boy. Long ago that boy overcame a terrible illness. All these years later and the boy is still living with the effects of that illness. It caused the boy and girl to be unable to have children of their own. They turned to science in hopes of having a baby together.

Once arrangements were made they went to their families with a joyous announcement, they had an opportunity to get pregnant! One side had nothing but congratulations and well wishes. On the other side, the boy and girl encountered something different. No excitement, just shock. No “we can’t wait” but instead “you’re going a little fast kids.” After having these conversations the boy and girl decided to proceed and they were successful! A little baby was due August 5, 2016.

But unexpected tragedy struck at the start of the new year. The little baby was no more and his or her tiny body was sent to a lab for testing. The boy and girl were devastated and waited one long month to hear some answers. They day before they were to see their special doctor, the girl decided to call M, a special and very dear person to the girl. The girl and M and previously spoken of M’s many miscarriages from years past and the girl decided to bring up the topic again. Through this topic, M revealed something about the boy’s sister, L. L had genetic testing done over a year ago and a deficiency popped up in her results. She chose to not bring this information to light months ago when the girl and boy were making their announcements.

The girl was deeply hurt. Years ago the girl had genetic testing and nothing showed up. The boy had never had this testing because he had no need of it, or so he thought. The girl was looking forward to finding some answers after having the baby’s body tested so she could share all of the information with L. L also is having difficulties getting pregnant. The girl had hopes of sharing all information she could find with L in the hopes that it would help her. The girl was hurt that L did not think of her in the same way.

The next day the results of the baby were inconclusive. No answers were to be had. For many nights after losing the baby the girl would wish that she never had her first child so she could choose whether or not to wake the next morning. That’s how the loss of her baby made her feel because she blamed it all on herself. Whenever the boy is confused or stressed and the girl can’t find the words to soothe him, she advises him to speak with M because she has a magical way of making people feel at peace. The girl longed to hear that she was strong and that everything would be okay. She knew that M had endured this loss many times so she decided to speak to M and confide in her.

After speaking with M, the girl felt slightly better and was ready to move on. Little did she know, M twisted the girls words and went to L, saying the boy and girl were blaming their loss on her. Instead of L speaking with the girl to uncover the truth, she went to the boy and yelled and said nasty things. L said that her genetic test results were her business and she did not need to share them with anyone. The boy was rightly confused and hung up on L. For some reason, L decided to go to D and lie and say more horrible things about the boy. D went to the boy and when he was done, the boy was left in tears.

The girl was distraught. How could all of this have happened?! The girl tried to go to M and D and make peace with them. She tried telling them that the boy spoke out of anger and emotion and truly did not mean to cause them pain. D was furious that he and M were involved in the mess in the first place (even though M caused the entire thing) and told the girl that they needed to make it right with L. M blamed the loss of the baby on the girl and boy for not asking medical questions before starting their process. (Even though the boy and girl did ask those questions, that’s how the girl knew of M’s losses.) D told the girl that while a miscarriage is a bad situation, you just have to get over it. After speaking with them the girl felt even more lost and naturally the boy went to defend her.

L went to the boy again and told him that the family thought his first wife was the problem but actually the problem is him. She said that he has changed and never wants to see his family, that he is only around when he wants or needs something. (After seeing this side of them, who would want to spend time with any of them?) The boy was deeply hurt. They were being attacked by the people that are supposed to love them the most.

The boy and girl decided that everyone needed to be in the same place and talk to clear the air. M refused, saying there is nothing to talk about. The boy and girl spent a lot of time crying and in pain. The girl’s daughter saw the tears and said she would make the mean people stop. The girl’s daughter loves M and D and she realized that she must shield her daughter from these events.

The girl learned a lot through this ordeal. She now knows that although she loves L and sees her as a sister, L does not feel the same. The girl would do anything to help L get her baby, but L would not do the same for the girl. The girl learned that she can never again speak to M as she would her own mother. She can never confide in her, she can never turn to her for advice, she can never share any personal information with her. For M will twist what the girl says and share it with whoever she sees fit. She learned that D will not ask questions about information he hears, he only knows how to attack. The girl learned that there is no love here, only opportunities to benefit oneself.

Infertility is hard, but it is even harder when you choose it. From the first day the boy made it clear to the girl about his situation. The girl chose him anyway. The girl chose each dollar spent, each injection, each and every symptom that went along with the medications. She choose it all, because she loves the boy. She could have chosen another and not had any of this happen to her, but she didn’t because she loves this boy. Once, D said that they were “putting the horse before the carriage.” And they were. But who says you must follow certain steps in order to have a family? Since when has love been about having a party for all to see? The girl doesn’t need any of that. The girl knows how much love the boy has even when he doesn’t say it. Words don’t really mean all that much if your actions prove otherwise. The boy shows the girl every single day what she means to him and that is all she needs to be happy with him.

The girl chose the boy when most girls that want children would not. You would think that would make the boy’s family happy. The girl chooses the boy but she does not choose his family. For so many weeks M and D have made comments on what the girl and boy say and do, saying it is “not very Christian-like.” Well, causing familial drama does not seem Christian-like. Saying malicious things and being okay with disowning your child (why, I have no idea) does not seem Christian-like. Choosing to be selfish (is that what keeping genetic information to yourself would be called? People that find this deficiency in their genes are supposed to tell other family members of childbearing age so.. there’s that) is not Christian-like. The girl told herself that the next time she is in a church, she will pray that these people are more Christian-like because they are far from it.

The girl and boy are hurting and lost. They have no idea what to do. All that the girl knows for certain is that she will never think of these people the same way ever again. The girl is forgiving but she is not dumb. She knows a snake when she sees it and she knows that it is important to not give too much of yourself to the wrong people for people will always say they are sorry, but words don’t mean very much when your actions are heinous.

M sent a letter to the boy. Well, here’s my letter. May you all live long and healthy lives.

2 Comments on There Once Was A Girl..

    • Toxic sure is a good word to use! Life is all about learning so I guess all we can do is learn our lessons and move on. It’s unfortunate but we have three frozen embabies waiting for us and that gives me something to look forward to 🙂

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